Celebrations Gone

I really should have told y'all this sooner, but ...
If you haven't noticed, I, GentatsuNoZanshi cc61, have been away for some time, and have been unable to post. It's not that I haven't been around, or that I don't care anymore, it's just that I have no time for anything these days. My constant struggle with myself should be over by the end of January, so expect me back then. I will return better than ever. I guarantee you that.'
I apologize for any inconvenience I have caused. Thank you for your patience.

Until then, I remain your obedient servant, GNZ.

 

Second Thoughts

You know, on second thought, there are probably a few on this site who would be glad to see me go. Maybe I'll just leave. You people can all go to hell (you know who you are). And to think I thought I had a few kindred spirits around here. Well, if I do, I apologize, and you will surely be missed by GNZ. I hope you'll say the same about me, but I doubt it.
It also seems to me that most of the problems around here as of late have been in one way or another caused or realting to myself. I'm obiviously bring y'all down, so I'll just leave you to your lives, and get on with my pitiful little one.
If ever we meet again, I pray it will be on better terms, but I cannot guarantee such an encounter will ever happen at all.
I ask all my friends around here to remember GNZ for what I once was, in the days of my glory, rather than what I have become.

Consider me gone, if not for now, then for ever.

 

Prepare for flaming people.

Okay Dude!!! Maybe I would have given a better post if you weren't so blunt about everything and walking around with a damn god complex everywhere.

I have been taking your comments time and time again, especially within the Sailor Moon and Kenshin forum on a few occasions. And now that I just say ONE damn thing that opposes you it's just crossing the damn line. WELL YOU KNOW WHAT, IT'S NO DAMN FAIR!!!!! And then you approach me later on and tell me the whole ramble about Sailor Moon was just a joke (I was ready to destructo glomp you)... and I'm glad that was your opinion or whatnot...but the way you express it sounds like your trying to scare people away from the forums.

And maybe you do have problems over there, and I have been listening to them and helping you with them to the best of my ability (especially over messenger). But just when I have 1 damn problem that I ask your advice for you say that I'm nagging

 

another one bites the dust LOL
And so the parade continues.

Remeber that whole flame you gave me about not having focus? Show some yourself, and tough it out.

If this is true, there is an easy way to solve that, and I don't mean an atoning exile. As Misato might say to Shinji, it is too easy to hurt yourself.

 

Finally (and don't expect another)

I keep saying I'm gone, but then posting again ... Let me just say that in spite of my continual saying goodbye and then coming back again that this is it. I am serious. Dead serious. This is probably the only thing I've ever been so serious about around here in my entire time with y'all.
Anyway, here I go again ...

Well, I am told that I am found to be "patronizing". Why do you say that? Do you think I mean to belittle you? I am speaking my mind, and yes, I do admit that makes me a little blunt (understatement of the year, perhaps), but would you rather I sugar-coat everything I say? You will also note that I frequently apologize for anything when I feel I am out-of-line, and even sometimes when I don't. I am not mocking you, but rather I am trying to show respect. You could argue that it would be better to keep my mouth shut (or computer off, as the case may be), but I cannot just keep my thoughts on everything bottled up. That makes me burst all over you, like I seemingly have today.
As for that "god complex" remark, where are you getting this from? You've known me for years, and as far as I can tell, I'm only acting as a more extreme version of the guy you always knew. Maybe all this isolation has warped my mind, but I cannot just stand here and take fire for my personality. That would be like me saying that I hate the Canadian flag for being red and white because the red could be interpretted as a communist colour.

Hey, I know I've made some mistakes (this post probably being one of them), and I know more than anyone that I cannot take them back. Do you think that I stand here before you having no regrets for the way I have treated some of you, or at the things I have said, or the things I haven't said, for that matter? But I can no longer live a life of regret for my mistakes. I can no longer face the fact that with each passing day a piece of me dies, be it from self-surpression, mistreatment by others, or the mistreatment I at times give others.
I have tried to change for the better for this community, and I mean I have really tried. As corny as it sounds, I have honestly sat myself down and pondered over how to correct the wrongs I have done to the lot of y'all, and how I can improve the way I work around here. But, I find nonetheless that I cannot change myself for the better, and that each day I fall farther from grace by my own actions and inactions in regards to those around me. I feel that forcing y'all to put up with more of my self-destructivity, my "evilistic tendencies", and this bad attitude that you seem to have labelled me with would be an exceedingly cruel course of action, and as such cannot allow it to happen. It would just be wrong for me to stick around. You already point out that I seem to be taking out my deep reserve of anger on everyone here, and if I stayed it would surely continue, and would only get worse. If you want more of this behaviour, well, you can always find some other @sshole to play on your weaknesses and belittle your strengths. I can also see

Now, I come to the issue of my focus. I have focussed on this sort of thing, maybe a little too much. Too much focus on things around here has made the rest of my life a little too blurry for my liking.

I will now leave you, hoping to ride off in the sunset as some kind of former hero gone wrong rather than as the last survivor of some once-great army now crushed by the weight of their own weapons. I won't compromise what little is left of my integrity and honour by returning again, at least not for quite a while.
Thanks for putting up with my sh-t all this time, and be glad it's over with.
I'm outta here.

Yours eternally,
GentatsuNoZanshi cc61

 

For one thing I have to say I'm sorry if I have said anything wrong, and I hope you're reading this Doug. And I know I'll still keep in touch with you... but I know, especially from the whole monologue you gave that you need help from someone, and I don't mean from any person. But you need to turn to God for answers to your problems, and this Cross or burden that you carry you should offer up to Him because He will help you carry it.

(And I'm sorry for those here who aren't Christian if this makes you feel uncomfortable or anything...)

And also I must apologize to the administrators for not taking the right choices in what to reply to this at first (that "I'm pissed off at a few of my old friends" sort of drawed the line...). But I believe Seraphim is totally right that we need some kind of Mission Statement for this message board so that new members are welcome in a community of friendship.

 

Quick tangent.. the Euro.. ew... I guess it should be easier to travel in Europe now. I had completely forgotten that it was starting now. I was over there New Years '99 when the transition started and all the prices were suddenly given in two denominations.. It was annoying for a while. Must have really ticked off vendors too, all they ?.99 prices in Marks were suddenly some random number in Euros. But now I bet they are happy, I'm sure all the prices, in order to be ?.99 in Euros, went up a little instead of down.. LOL anything to squeeze the consumers money out

 

I go away for 3 days and my world crumbles around me. GNZ, one of the best posters and senior members around, leaves.
He was GM for the ff9 rpg and really good at it too.
Miss you, I will, GNZ

 

When Zanza told me that u were leaving m2a for a while.. i tried to free myself from my studies to write this message.

I know that you wont read this but i want u to know that u have we will miss u .. (ill miss u )

i hope ull return much sooner to m2a .. to congratulate me on my birthday on 8/1


See ya

 

Return of the King (or the Thing, at any rate ...)

"Hello, my friend, we meet again.
It's been a while. Where should we begin?
Feels like forever!"
-Creed, My Sacrifice-

I'm back.
Those two words aren't like my typical pseudo-poetic/melodramatic style, but it was either that or the entire lyrics to a few songs I've heard, and I just don't have the time to type that much.

Now, I know I didn't exactly leave here on the best terms at the start of the month, so I'm asking you, the community, to please accept me back into your ranks.
If you accept my return, I give you my solemn oath that I will try to keep it clean this time, that is, I will try to clean up the language of my posts and will try to avoid acting as twisted and evil as I have in the past.
Just say the word, and I will vanish from this realm for all eternity, never to call again.

 

WELCOME BAACK!!!

Konnichiwa! and welcome back GNZ! The place isn't the same without it's you. Hey can we continue the FF IX game, pretty please... ;

 

Woo-hoo!!!

Then let me just say it's good to be back! It's so hard to have a serious anime-related discussion with the people in this town, or with the chess-nerds at school, for that matter.

[while saying this next bit, picture me doing a series of Ginyu Force-style poses]
You have my solemn oath that I will do my best to once again fill the role I once had! I will now avoid the use of excessive coarse language (there's the rub) and I'll not let my personal problems get in the way of my job here!

Besides, it would be more personal to discuss any problems we have with each other directly, via, say, MSN Messenger?

Anyway, It's good to be back!
GNZ missed y'all!

 

Hisashiburi ne, GNZ! Tadaima!
It's been a while, hasn't it GNZ! Welcome Back!

Consider yourself warmly recieved! I don't think M2A would be M2A if we didn't have little bickerings here and there over random topics, it's what makes it fun, as long as none of us gets angry over it. :grin:

-UK

 

I thought there was something different about the place today

___________________
wb