Humour if Microsoft made cars...

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by SaberJ2X, Feb 15, 2006.

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  1. SaberJ2X

    SaberJ2X Moderator
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    For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo (COMDEX) Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

    In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):

    1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

    2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

    3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

    4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

    5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was
    reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five per cent of the roads.

    6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed an Illegal Operation" warning light.

    7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

    8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

    9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

    10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.
     
    #1
    SaberJ2X, Feb 15, 2006
  2. Eternal-Blaze

    Eternal-Blaze New Member

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    HAH! Did they really say this? This is the same stuff I would have said!
     
    #2
    Eternal-Blaze, Feb 16, 2006
  3. Reisti Skalchaste

    Reisti Skalchaste New Member

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    Hahahaha, I love this. :D

    Sadly we are mostly all still slaves to the Microsoft corporation. :(
     
    #3
    Reisti Skalchaste, Feb 16, 2006
  4. wertitis

    wertitis Proud Mary keep on burnin'

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    XD Golden. This is priceless.

    ~W
     
    #4
    wertitis, Feb 16, 2006
  5. Orion

    Orion Gears

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    Oh man that's funny. XD The best part of it all? It's true. :)
     
    #5
    Orion, Feb 16, 2006
  6. Seishin

    Seishin Guest

    I'd find this even more cruely funny than it already is if I didn't have Microsoft Windows on my computer.

    But even so, it's the truest facts anyone can ever find, eva!

    -Seishin
     
    #6
    Seishin, Feb 16, 2006
  7. Soitsu

    Soitsu Flame Alchemist!

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    Thats all good...and also if they had that don't get the virus I had...every second it would turn on and off...so you press the start button it turns off...press the start button...until you get it to go and when you start going your car would stop you'd jerk forward...hit the eject button(Microsoft CAN do ANYTHING) fly up, a screen would pop up in front of you and it will say "good bye"!!!:D
     
    #7
    Soitsu, Feb 16, 2006
  8. Jackabee

    Jackabee Captain Jackabee Sparrow

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    Strangely enough.... I've seen this before.... some time ago.... and not 'engineered' by GM.
     
    #8
    Jackabee, Feb 16, 2006
  9. Kain

    Kain Plaything of Doom

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    Heh that should show gaate not to go braging about a system that so many people already say is faulty.
     
    #9
    Kain, Feb 16, 2006
  10. Soitsu

    Soitsu Flame Alchemist!

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    Hey if it happened, life would be a lot tougher...cause 25.00$ cars, who would pass that up seriesly...:D
     
    #10
    Soitsu, Feb 16, 2006
  11. Basher

    Basher Mad Writing Skillz

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    This is diffentily funny stuff.
     
    #11
    Basher, Feb 17, 2006
  12. Bloodberry

    Bloodberry Bloody Berry
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    a friend and i were listening to a guy in the arvy's we were at read this off to his middle aged/elderly friends (it wasa forward he got apparently). we were laughing, his friends were not.

    i love the mac one though *^-^*
     
    #12
    Bloodberry, Feb 18, 2006
  13. Kryshana

    Kryshana Dont try to understand me

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    This is funny because it's true! But I've heard this one before. My majorly computer geek friend printed this out and handed it to read. I swear...he will become the next Bill Gates...or so I hope so...

    ...give me the dough.... XD
     
    #13
    Kryshana, Feb 20, 2006
  14. Ashika

    Ashika This thing is so short...

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    AH! thats sick! I can't believe GM really did create a list. Most of them I would have come up with. It would be cool to have cars like that in a way.
     
    #14
    Ashika, Feb 21, 2006
  15. Soitsu

    Soitsu Flame Alchemist!

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    Just imagine this a car, a little bigger then a bike...moving around like its on high speed internet...whats even more funny was if that person had Dial-Up:D
     
    #15
    Soitsu, Feb 21, 2006
  16. b-tuvs

    b-tuvs Member

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    Microsoft car???

    If Microsoft would build cars like that, the Automobile industry is history!

    Imagine if you had a car running only on a trial edition and you are in a great hurry then your car will suddenly stop and on the winshield it reads, "Trial period has expired", that would be a major bummer! :mad:

    It's bad enough that GM pointed out their list, it would also be worse if your car had a virus. :eek: even though your car is only 25 bucks you would be obligated to install everything all over again! :rolleyes:

    Speaking of Trial Versions, here's something that I received on my mail. Just imagine if Bill Gates got away with a Microsoft car and eventually got bigger and they produced Microsoft Airplanes, something like this might just happen :p



    that has got to hurt:sweat2:
     

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    #16
    b-tuvs, Feb 21, 2006
  17. Samurai Me

    Samurai Me New Member

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    Lol,that is the funniest thing i've seen in awhile,I think my ribs are gonna crack!
     
    #17
    Samurai Me, Feb 21, 2006
  18. Zanza

    Zanza .Net-ing & PHP-ing~*
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    I guess we have to work hard to change our OS to something else, don't we?

    I think someday this MS era will end.. the more people know how crappy MS is and they learn how to use other OSs, we will be fine =]

    I for once, when I start a business, I'll refuse to work on MS. It is simple too risky! ^^
     
    #18
    Zanza, Feb 23, 2006
  19. Samurai Me

    Samurai Me New Member

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    Nah were not bein trendy lol Its just plain common sence...MICROSOFT SUCKS!!! They have even made it so you only have a trial period for XP then you have to register PLUS you can only use it on one Computer. There rip offs and they suck lol
     
    #20
    Samurai Me, Jun 2, 2006
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