Saber Marionette Shinryu' First Fanfic!

Well, after a long (5-month) hiatus, I'm back. With the next portion of my story. I got a bit inspired while reading some old fanfics on FF.net, and I managed to break free of the malicious Writer's Block.

The stories I read are:

Cherry's New Adventure, by Aoi's Neko-o

Saber Marionette: Instrument of Plasma, by LostCrimson

Prologue *Saber Marionette S*, by *SweetStrawberry* (AKA Angel-lida4eva)

And,

Self-Insert, by BakaMattSu, Lady Aoi, and BlueFiragaCarter. (I think that's right...)

Anyway, enough of my blabbing. Here's the next little bit. I got stuck right at the end, so I left it as a cliffhanger. (Mwahahahaha). It's a bit short, I know, and it's pre-edit, too, so this isn't the final version, but here:

--------------------------

The night passes, and morning begins anew. We find Lime, Cherry, and Bloodberry meeting up out side of his room. Saying nothing, they enter.

Otaru looks up at their arrival. He waits for them all to enter before greeting them, and saying, "Have any of you managed to choose?"

Glancing at each other, the girls said nothing at first, until Lime stepped forward. She walked up, beside Otaru's bed, and, kneeling beside it, she hugged him. Holding him tight, she said, her voice a little more than a whisper, her eyes wet, "Otaru, I love you so much. I care about you, and I want to be with you forever. I will stay with you."

Hugging her tightly, Otaru, with eyes no drier than hers, said, his voice broken, "Thank you, Lime. I love you, too. I always have, and I always will. I am so happy to hear you say that. I love you, Lime." Letting her go, she stood next to him, for a long moment, wiping away her tears.

Bloodberry, next to respond, followed Lime's lead, by walking up to Otaru's bedside, on the opposite side, and hugged him. "Otaru, I, too, love you. I loved you since the day you awakened me. And I will never stop loving you. But, Akashi. He loves me. I know it. I can't just leave him, not after all he's done for me. If you choose me, I will stay with you."

At this, Otaru remembered what Akashi had said to him. "Mamiya Otaru, if you pick one out of the three, and that happens to be Bloodberry, then you can have her. But, I don't intend on handing her over to you now. She doesn't deserve to be one-third! I'll be responsible for Bloodberry. And, if you don't come to take her away, I'll be the one to make her happy."

Stifling his sadness at this thought, he said, "And I have always loved you, Bloodberry. Always. Never will I stop. I will accept your choice, because I know that you will be happy."

Breaking the hug, Bloodberry stepped back, also.

Cherry had been silent up to now, and, it seemed it was her turn to speak. Walking up to him, on the side Lime had chosen, she also hugged Otaru, and told him, "Otaru-sama, I do love you. I do. But I can't decide. I can't choose between you, and those children. I love you, but I also love them. I want to be with you, but I don't want to leave them."

Otaru, tears flowing freely once again, spoke, softly, to her, "I have always loved you, Cherry. From the moment we met, I have loved you." Hugging her all the harder, he continued. "Every day, when I wake up, you've greeted me with a smile. Every day, you do so much for me. You give, and you give, never asking for anything.

Cherry, unable to hold back her tears, said nothing. She only hugged Otaru.

After a long moment, they broke the hug, and Cherry moved to stand next to Lime.

Otaru, at this point, looked as though he were gathering courage to say something. Like, it was something he had to say, but couldn't bring himself to say. Eventually, he found his voice. "I love each one of you. I love you all. And I will always love each of you, with all of my heart. I swear it. My love for you three will never die." Standing up at this, Otaru got out of bed. "...I've decided. I choose..."

 

Still on the topic of my fanfic, I'm thinking I'll end it here. Leave the ending open to interpretation, so you can imagine it however you like.

I'm sure you all know where I'd likely take it if I did continue it, though. ^_^

If enough people want me to continue writing this story, then I will, but I probably won't finish it for awhile. Be sure to cast your vote!

Also, I want to hear your opinions of the (finished?) story. Are there any areas I really need to improve on? Anything that stood out really well?

Thanks for all your input, mina-san! I really appreciate it!

 

I guess that Cherry would somehow fly to the Earth and find somebody XD

Seriously, you should finish it because if you don't it'd be another good unfinished fanfic. I really don't know if you should 'improve' in anything. Each one has his own style, you know?