Humour The Guys' Rules

The Guys' Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)

We always hear "the rules"
from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

 

where did you get this? i have seen this exact list like 200 times already...even though most of its true, lol, not all of it is. I also think this is a thread here on boards.jp already but i dont know :sweat2: im too lazy to search for it...lol :anime:

 

lol... that is really fun... and some what true at the same time for me.. on well some of them. Nice though.

 

Very funny. Nice going Kame.

 

that completely describes my father.

Nice.

 

well i think if your father is over 40 it completely descibes him b/c lots of guys in that generation are like that now lol... including my dad lol

 

well my dads 42 so thats him and more....some of those even describe my nepew and he's only 1...

 

hahahahha.. lol very true lol xD hhehahhaha.. so what are the girl rules/???
misao

 

there might be a post with this around.. i probably posted it before.. i was just looking around my computer when i came by it again..

 

OMG...I remember getting an email like that from one of my many ex-boyfriends. Yeah...yeah...you boys! Sheesh...Shopping is a sport...you gotta beat everyone to get the best stuff first. The "fat" one is mean....and Victoria's Secret? I already got that downpact...so no one has to whine....LMAO!

Yeah...I know that there is a "Girl's Rules" thingy...but i forgot what it said...please repost it!

 

Hehe Here you go.

1. The Female always makes the Rules.

2. The Rules are subject to Change at any time without prior notification.

3. No Male can possibly know all the Rules

4. If the Female suspects the male knows all the Rules, she must immediately change some or all of the Rules.

5. The Female is never wrong. *duh*

6. If the Female is wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the Male said wrong.

7. If Rule #6 applies the Male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding. *For it is always their fault*

8. The Female may change her mind at any time. *it is her god given right*

9. The Male must never change his mind without the expressed written consent of the Female.

10. The Female has the right to be angry or upset at any time. *and she may take it out on any man at any given time.*

11. The Male must remain calm at all times unless the Female wants him to be angry or upset.

12. The Female must under no circumstances let the Male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.

13. The Male is expected to read minds at all times.

14. Any attempt by the Male to document the Rules could result in bodily harm.

15. If the Female has PMS all the Rules are null and void!

16. The Female is ready when she is ready. *amen*

17. The Male must be ready at all times.

I made my own little notes. Hehe

 

I dont like your rules! and they are not as funny as the guys rules..

 

should that be a rule in the guys rules

 

Ha ha, yeah...guys rules are funny, except the Victoria's secret one, men should be nice to girls all the time. But te rest was ok, kinda...
Basher, im a girl and i dont really agree with your rules, they make a female look selfish.

 

Well the main thing is both set of rules are just for Laughs.. its mostly how we alway feel. Some of it true thats for sure.. but all and all just has to be taken with a grain of salt..

 

Gah! The female rules remind of my mother...O.O lol

I think that the female ones are also funny.

Your ready when your ready, but men must be ready all the time.... so close to my mother it is just, scary.

 

lol
I read the rule of the men's rule in an e-mail.
that was very funny and ind some way true.
it was one of my men friends that send it saying "look this is so u can underastand us"

 

You know, I really thought I was easily amused, but I don't really find any of these funny (except for maybe the irony in the Christopher Columbus comment)... but ah, I guess that's just me.

 

The girls rules re for my mom.....and my little brother The guys' are for me and my dad. The victoria secret one is a good one. I can agree with that.