Humour Understanding Women.

I've had this for a while and decided to post it here.

Words Women Use

Study this and know it!

FINE

This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES

This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

NOTHING

This means "something", and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. 'Nothing" usually signifies an
argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with 'Fine'.

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows)

This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)

This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH

This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

SOFT SIGH

Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow.

GO AHEAD.

At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO

This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful
and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay."

THANKS

A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT

This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing."

 

how come
yes=no
no=no
maybe=no
which word is yes coz i ain't got no clue
very intresting on the stuff some of them i already know got earfull because of that

 

Nice one Sphinx. Will take a bit to get used to that.

I so go by that sometimes.

"I am busy"

This phrase means you have done something wrong. You need to either figure out what you did wrong or buy jewelry, candy, or flowers. There is no other way out.

 

hahaha, I remember when Kain posted this. Still kinda amusing.

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Though I dunno why it got binned. I didn't do it.

 

Ye, only mine got thrown straight into the wastebasket for some reason . I didn't think it was that bad .

 

because you aren't a woman? nah that can't be why...Eh whatever... just don't make me raise my eyebrows at you...

 

You know, a lot of guys use those lines, too.

 

Women are oh so complicated eh boys?

 

yeah you got that right

 

true, but as long as you understand them and don't say the wrong thing at the wrong moment it should be alright

 

but girls they kinda speak their own lanuage one word could mean loads of things to them mostly insulting expression

 

i looked to see if anyone had posted it already in the humor section. no wonder i didn't find it.

 

Understand women? That's possible?

Nah, I understand *one* woman, and that's enough for me

 

The words usually do not become insulting until a man does something that makes the woman use it as an expression of insult. hehe

which makes sense.

 

I am blessed...I get the heavy sigh a lot and the nothing a lot as well but heh girls can never stay mad at me no matter what i do..which is fun for me.. Course i have a tendency to do what the girl does with the sigh and nothing..and i keep asking..

 

Yeah, his mom.















Oh man I just burned you.

 

I know who it is

That was great, you had me laughing on that Shijin!

I really think its hard to understand women, and I am one of them
But give them time and they will come right back. If you show her you love her that is

 

Well, I really haven't seen anything like this going on in the real life, but i do havethe feeling that some girls, misguided by stupid magazines, tend to "test" their boyfriends to see "if they really love them", like:

"If he really loved me, he would have remembered our 9th month-aniversary", or "he would know me enough by now to see that I don't like this or that" or some stupid crap like that. And no, subtle indications DON'T WORK. We men like things clear and simple.

 

I'm sorry, I think you've got me confused with you.

Do you now? You're wrong if you think it's Cherry.

I found a scientific study about this once, I forget if it was serious. But it basically said that women were genetically different not only from men, but from each other, while men are mostly the same.