THE SCOREBOARD STANDINGS ------------------------ Name...............Score sIzEr.................2400 VaSh...................2375 HaNaGaTa............2075 eIn......................1975 iWaNbO................1899 RyO-oHkI.............1775
(Imagine a shiny stage with seven podiums, around one nicely placed center...) Hello everyone, and Welcome to AnImE CoLlIsIoN, the game show where it's common to see Samurai, Mechs, and Sailor Scouts duke it out in every way unimaginable! For this very special show, we've gathered together seven very interesting contestants... So let's bring them on out! Contestant # 1 is a greedy "ninja of justice" from Edo Town...The sidekick of Ganbare Goemon... please welcome from Ganbare Goemon "Ebisumaru"! Contestant # 2 is a real lab rat (well, 'cabbit' anyhow) and the personal spaceship of the legendary space pirate Ryoko... give a hand to Tenchi Muyo!'s "Ryo-ohki"! For # 3, we've got a clone from the planet Terra II... a bit of a nut job, he's proclaimed his undying love to Otaru Mamiya... here from Saber Marionette J is "Mitsurugi Hanagata"! # 4's philoshophy is "Love and Peace"... A paficist gunslinger who is inordinately fond of donuts... let's see, from Trigun, "Vash the Stampede"! Next we have another labrat (still not really a rat but a dog, this time)... A dog worth quite a lot of money to certain groups, and one often tormented by Faye... Smarter than the average pooch, welcome Cowboy Bebop's "Ein"! Contestant # 6 Hails from the Meiji Era of Japan. Clueless at times, he's also known as "the grinning idiot" or "the meaty evil". Weighing in over 300 pounds... from Rurouni Kenshin, "Iwanbo"! And last but not least, our final contestant is a lot of words: quiet, thoughtful, angry, jealous, fearless, shy, and sometimes maybe morbid. Twin sister of Hamel, and command of the Hawk Troops, from the Violinist of Hamelin, she's "Sizer!" Now, before we get to the first event, let's hear a little bit about yourselves and where you're from for the other contestants and audience's sake... Let's hear a brief detailing of yourselves, as well as your personal goals... plus, why you think you're going to come out on top at this game's end! [This message has been edited by BakaMattSu (edited 11-06-2001).] [This message has been edited by BakaMattSu (edited 11-06-2001).]
IwAnBoW: Duh...don't know me big! me smash bash! duhhh ha ha (turns head 180 degrees around)......(has a funny look on his face while looking at the other contestants)
HaNaGaTa: *shudders at the big scary guy and steps up to the microphone* "I, the incredibly manly and oh-so-handsom Hanagata Mitsurugi will win this game for the love of my life, Otaru Mamiya-kun" *eyes get misty* "Mh... Otaru-kun..." *jumps to one side of the microphone and kneels* "I hearby dedicate this trophy to your honor, my little shirataki noodle!" *jumps to the other side of the microphone* "Oh, Hanagata! You're wonderful! Why didn't I ever see it before! Come here and give me a kiss!" *jumps to the other side of the microphone* "Ohh, Otaru-kuuuuuun!" *wraps his arms around himself and begins making kissing noises* "So forward!! Oh!!! Not in front of everyone!" *remembers where he is and looks back into the audience* "Ahem. And with the prize money, I will take Otaru-kun to Romana for our honeymoon. Mhh.... romana... Otaru-kun! OTARU-KUN!! OTARU-KUUUUUUUN!!!" *a rose sprouts from his hand *
*slides by Iwanbo and trips over Hanagata's foor. Picks himself up, and makes a quick pose.* EBISMARU: Hoy! Hoy! I'm here for a few reasons. Number one, I will finally win the respect of Goemon and the others! Number two, I will use my new-found fame to inspire my own series of video games, anime, and manga called Ganbare Ebismaru instead of Ganbare Goemon! Number three, it's been a while since I got to smack some WEIRDOS around with my Meat Saw Hammer, and I could use the practice. Finally, the most important reason, using the prize money, I will buy myself an incredibly large supply of dumplings and rice balls! The winnings should last me at least a day ... Ho-ho-ho! Victory! *begins to do a pre-emptive victory dance*
"woof woof woof.. woof woof.. woof woof.............................." translations.. Hello im EiN the Data Pooch! to win some food. the crew of bebop is starving we have had no bounties lately.. No boutie no money no food... Give a dog a bone!!! WOOF WOOF!!!! &*@#%^&%*@(%EiN!!!!%^$$&@(^#(*^$%$%$%#*^ Beware of th bite!
AH HA HA HA HA!! Darn.. Actually I know very little about my past, but everyone seems to be after me for some reason! I always hear people yelling "He's the Humanoid Typhoon!" and "The 60 Billion double Dollar reward will be mine!!" The only thing I really want in this world is: LOVE AND PEACE!!! ............/ .........../. ........../.. ........./... ......../.... ......./..... ....../...... ....../...... [This message has been edited by That guy! (edited 11-07-2001).]
Myaaa...aaaah....ahhhmi-ohh-mya? (When do we get to eat carrots?) ~preens herself~ ------------------ ~Myaaaa-oops, I mean, Meaikoh Takashi~
Sizer had been waiting very impatiently, not knowing how to take the other contestants... *She flips in the air, lands in the center and rips her scythe through what may seem the podiums..yet they still stand...She opens her wings which bring forth a gust of wind that twirl the smaller contestants* She speaks.."Should I be a pawn in some beings game, have I been a pawn? I think not!..hmmmpph...let's get on with this!!!" she says with a look to bring the hair up on someone's back, then states..."I have a four'o-clock to destroy Pizzecato city."
Now that we're all here, let's open with a warmup round... here on Anime Collision, we like to have our contestants get a sense of bonding and kinship... SO! This round battle will be done from your stands without any physical interaction. You've seen what they all have to say... now tell them what you really think! Each contestant gets one chance to lay out as many insults as he/she wants against any number of your opponents... Don't hold back! The best insults will get the biggest rewards...Get to it, contestants!
IwAnBo: Duhhhhh........ha........ha............me smash bash you.......and you.....and you....(scratches his head confused that there are many people to insult).....duh.... hah...ha......(lays a big fart).......ha.....ha........(makes a stupid grin..)
*steps up to his microphone and clears his throat* (at EbIsMaRu): Shorty!! Sukiyaki lover!! Nincompoop!! Sports player!! Can opener!!! (at eIn): Why do they have a dog on this game?! Lime's ridiculous squirrel would be a far worthier contestant!! Puppy!! *barks furiously* at Ein* (translation: barking furiously) (at iWaNbO): uh... hehe, I think I'll pass.... *hopes the big guy won't hurt him during the course of the game* (at RyO-oHkI): Non-descript animal thing!!! (at VaSh): Why, sir, do you do your own gunslinging when you have a marionette do it for you? Oh, that's right, you don't have a marionette, do you? Perhaps you'd like to borrow one of mine? *laughs cruelly* But then you're probably a marionette lover, aren't you? Marionette lover!! Marionette lover!! Spikey-haired marionette lover!!! *sticks his tongue out at VaSh and then mimics him as best he can* Hello, I'm Vash the Stampede! I'm a marionette lover!!! Look at how much I love my marionettes!! (at sIzEr): I won't even bother with this contestant, because the great Hanagata Mitsurugi does not stoop to insulting lowly marionettes. *folds his arms across his chest and pouts* *hopes Otaru-kun is in the audience and is impressed by his manly and intelligent besting of all contestents in the insult category* [This message has been edited by Lady Aoi (edited 11-08-2001).]
Woof WoOF! Translation! Yuk! sIzEr Looks Like what was living in spikes Fridge on Bebop.. bad memories could not eat for a weak!
*Proceeds to the microphone, with his Red trench coat blowing in the wind* Hanagata, I've never met a woman quite like you Ein, Go and chase away that cat that is always following me! I don't want to hurt a cute little puppy. *eyes go big* Sizer, I am your father!! AHHH HA HA HA! Ebismaru, you should stop eating all those rice balls. Have a donut! Ryo Ohki, eat this!, *throws a donut shaped like a carrot*
Ebisu takes a moment to size up the competition (a very larger moment for Iwanbo ). He steps up to the mic and speaks, in his most menacing tone. EBISMARU (to Ein): Foolish little puppy! I've eaten [rice balls] bigger than you! (to Hanagata): You step over here, and I'll have to demonstrate on you what I always tell my buddies to do when facing a villain: "Just grab him by the throat and beat him up a bit!" You talk about marionettes, but I'll make sure that you are the one who gets strung up! [laughs at what he thinks is a clever joke] (to Iwanbo): You're huge! But your size is only a [weight problem]! I bet you couldn't eat as many dumplings in one sitting as me, and still keep a healthy physique! [spins around twice and flexes his muscles for emphasis] (to Ryo-ohki): You're supposed to be so cute, but you have nothing on my [beautiful nose]! (to Vash): Skinny little gunfighter! You should better food! You look out of shape! Why not drop out of the game, and I'll take you back to [Oedo Castle Town] for some of the famous [Super Stamina Dumplings]? You'll be much better for it. [switches to what he thinks is a suave, ladies-man-ish voice, but really it's just stupid-sounding] (to Sizer): Hey, pretty lady. Why not join me for some [tea and dumplings] after the contest? [does a quick dance and ends on one knee with his hands in the air] [This message has been edited by GentatsuNoZanshi cc61 (edited 11-08-2001).]
Sizer edges to her podium...she only thinks of how stupid this insult game is and the anger burning inside her heart. [Han] To the Shiritaki Noodle for a brain, such a lowly pitiful worm as you should not even be looked upon by any gender or even be allowed to walk the face of this planet, I am ashamed of the unknown 'other' gender you are part of. *gives him a steel-eyed glare* [Ein] (in reference to Guitar)I know of a wretched puny dog..who was eaten in turn by what he had eaten...do you know what a dog looks like kept in a fridge? perhaps you will be the only thing here not to know...*licks her blade* [Vash] *If looks could kill* I could shove all of Cornet's big butt into your mouth, and you wouldn't feel a thing. Love & Peace, that is all you say..it will be the last stupid thing you say. [Ebismaru] *Sizer blushes, but it quickly turns into a look of death* You little smurf are only fit for the tea and dumplings that were trampled upon by my feet. [Iwanbo] You pitiful thing. One slice and your whole innards would drown these pathetic opponents. {Ryo-Ohki] One more meow I sware..*She thinks of her morbid child-hood past-time of slicing up rabbits in the forest with Ocarina* There once was a cabbit..who came in contact with an angel with a horribly bad habit...*gives a sinister laugh, as she ponders what do to her* *Sizer puts her finger to the podium, and the top half slides down and crashes to the floor. She steps aside.*
Oahh...myamya myaaaaaamimi riow myas! (Yeah, well...you guys all eat those little rice cakes so...Pbbblt! ~blows cabbit rasberry~) ------------------ ~Myaaaa-oops, I mean, Meaikoh Takashi~
And the judges have made their insult decisions: Insult Effectiveness: Hanagata +670 Sizer +600 Vash +300 Ebisumaru +200 Ein +125 Ryo-ohki +75 Iwanbo +50 Characterization/Entertainment Factor: Sizer +300 Iwanbo +299 Hanagata +280 Ebisumaru +275 Ryo-ohki +250 Ein +250 Vash +150 Round 2 to come, so stick around! [Edited for a re-count.] [This message has been edited by BakaMattSu (edited 11-13-2001).]
[The scene re-opens onto a very small rooftop several hundred stories into the air] Welcome to round 2, contestants! Hope nobody has a fear of heights... This event is called the "Shogun Sumo Shuffle". Each of you have been stripped of any weapons or other equipment as this event is to be "hands on"... Here, high above the tallest empty building we could find, we've placed you. And here, is where the next winner will be decided... The concept of this is very simple. Be the last left on the rooftop to be the "Shogun of the Castle". You can get rid of your opponents in any way you deem fit, but if you fall off the edge - you're done you "Dirty Sumo Rascal" - see you next round. Oh, and before I forget - no flying of any kind. You fly - you're disqualified from the round. Contestants ready? Set? Go!
IwAnBo: (thinking to his self why he never became a sumo wrestler....)Duhhhhh...ha....(gets in a sumo wrestler position) EiN: (waddles up to the brown dog) Duhh...ha...ha..mmmmmmmm....meeeeeee.......hungry!!!!.....dog......mmmmmmmm....(jumps up in the air forming a ball out of himself trying to land on Ein...) [This message has been edited by TamaKameKami (edited 11-13-2001).]
