Recreation men and women...

Re: Re: men and women...

Exiz, meet your new god.

 

Originally posted by exiztone

I thought you were a woman smart ***. Frankly, If I was to dyke it out with anyone, it would be you exiz. *snicker*

Anyway. That's just the general female populations idea. If you want to be the exact opposite of that, go to town. ^-^ I'm sure you'll make a nice lazy poop head.

( I still love you though *winku* )

 

PROPER ORDER!

 

*hands Lex flame retardent clothing*

 

& there we go... now the males of the forum are joking about, for really, the whole subject is highly laughable... it's as the saying goes

Nobody's perfect

So stop setting out unreachable standards

 

Re: Re: men and women...

Dude, I wanna shake your hand.


Oh and something k0gepAn_LuFF3r said:
"Well, I agree with some of the ideas on that list, and others I don't. I don't think men are tight with their money all the time, that's an individual thing."

but you still want a man to give you money?
I'm sorry if I'm misunderstanding that statment.
But that's just ****ing insane.
What you wanna live at his place too?

 

yeah yeah ..not unreachable and if that is the case..treat men like dogs
give em a treat when they are ret..adn beat em with a stick if wrong he put down the seat good boy!!!!
did the dishes good boy!!!! here watch some tv
heck yeah live at his place ours now ya biootchs

 

my other ideal man: HUGH GRANT

 

Man, now I just wanna be a wife beater.

 

Well i edit my last statement slightly... not "Unreachable" more towards "Why the hell do i want to reach over there when it's so comfy here"

 

Hugh Grants movie roles you mean.
The real guy sleeps with hookers.
Just thinking of that police photo of him makes me laugh.
That's gotta be one of the funniest pictures ever taken.

 

no.. i like his movie roles but i really love the man he is... i luv him!!!

 

no but i kno everything bout him and his so gorgey!!! :catgirl:

 

If looks even counted, I'd be swooning over one of the worst women in my class. Go for personality, it'll save you much grief.

 

hehe

this all makes me laugh...okay yes i do have a big ole list of how the man of my dreams will be...but ya know he's just that -- a dream (although dreams do come true...lol) but yeah i think my ideal man well ill tell you when i meet him k? i think that when i meet the man im supposed to spend the rest of my life with all of my 'ideals' will change to fit him ya know? okay if that makes any sense at all... but yeah this has been an enjoyable few pages hehe not to mention (girls dont hit me please) i thought that maddox thing was hilarious!! i was seriously laughing out loud...the guy had some good points yes? lol anyway

 

Just got this in the Email.. funny joke but it will go well on this thread

!How to be a Real Man:

1. Don't call, ever.

2. Name your penis. Be sure it is something narcissistic and
unoriginal, like "Spike."

3. Play with yourself. Talk about it.

4. You are a man. Remember, no matter what, it isn't your
fault.

5. Lie.

6. Never ask for help. Even if you really need it, don't ask.
People will think you have no penis.

7. Women like it when you ignore them. It arouses them.

8. If, God forbid, you have to talk to a girl on the phone, use
only monosyllabic words and noises. Bodily noises are
permissible.

9. Lie.

10. Everyone finds a man more attractive if he can write his
name in urine.

11. Say things like "Wha. . . ?"

12. Deny everything. Everything.

13. Don't have a clue.

14. If you don't get sex whenever you want, your balls will
shrivel. Enforce this rule at all times.

15. Tell this to your girl before you have sex, "Don't worry. If
you don't have an orgasm, you won't get pregnant."

16. Life is one big competition. If someone is better than you
at anything, either pretend it's not true or kick some ***.

17. Lie.

18. Do NOT make decisions about relationships. If you are backed
into a corner and must make a decision, stall. If you still must
come up with an answer, leave yourself a loophole for escape.
For example: Question: "Honey, will you take me out for a
romantic dinner?"
Answer: "Yes, if you can guess how many sperm I produce
daily."

19. At any given opportunity, point out how things look like
genitalia.

20. Play with your food only if you are in a public place with
people you don't know.

21. Play with your penis only if you are in a public place with
people you don't know.

22. You are NOT a virgin, ever. Males are born without
virginity.

23. Females do not care what you do to them as long as they get
to please you.

24. Basic fundamental rule of dating: Quantity, not quality.

25. Basic fundamental rule of sex: Quantity IS quality.

26. Lie.

27. Crying is not manly. Then again, if you are a man, what do
you have to cry about anyway?

28. Women are your napkins. Use them and then throw them away.

29. Remember, every virgin girl is saving herself for YOU.

30. If your women makes you go shopping with her, drive around
until a parking spot right near the door opens up. If this takes
hours, so be it. You will have the coveted "Door Spot" and other
will worship you.

31. If you're on a date and there is a lull in the conversation,
tell the girl how many dorms you have been laid in.

32. When you tell a girl about your past, it's good to say,
"God, I was such a pimp back then."

33. Here's a good trick. Tell a girl that you're going to leave
and when you come back you want her naked and sprawled out on
the bed. Leave and go into her dad's room and tell him he
should go check on his daughter. Then drive like hell.

34. The best sex position is you, lying face up. . . and twenty
girls on top.

35. Practice your blank stare.

36. If you're ever forced to show emotion, just pick a random
emotion, like rage, lust and insanity, and display them at
random, inconvenient times. You won't be asked to do it again.

37. If you are asked to do something you REALLY don't want to
do, first try your manly best to get out of it. If that doesn't
work, go ahead and do what you were asked to do, but complain
that you don't know howto do it and continuously ask questions
on how to do each little part. If no one rushes in to do it for
you yet, finish the job in the most half-assed way you possibly
can and then say "See???? I told you I couldn't do it."
Eventually people will stop asking you to do things.

38. Do not listen to "pussy music" like Color Me Badd or the
oldies.

39. Scratch your balls. See if you can embarrass people.

40. Lie.


KaMe

 

find a man like that and you will find one lonely man.