Humour Work Horror Stories

lol, that was very funny Neph ^_^

hmmm, my work horror story....this old guy spanked me....but it was his birthday, so i gave him a kiss on the cheek. guess where i work.....

 

.....Hooters?

Haha, j/k, a retirement home o'course!!!

Gosh, reflecting on all of these disheartening accounts, despite the morbid humor, has made me that much more reluctant to start filling out job applications...=/. When my parents finally get around to emancipating me, I'll be sure to hold you guys responsible for my welfare status ^_^.

 

*ahem*.......actually it was Hooters :shy: :sweat: you can't hate me for it can you?

i hope you get a good job, too!

 

I hate call centres and I'll never work in one again after this summer. If you want a high stress job try those places. Most of the calls are fine, but some just scream their heads over getting unqualified letters for $3 rebates. I mean, it's only 3 dollars.. it's not like you can buy a car or something with that.

Today it was horrible, I had a couple gang screaming at me through a speaker phone. Another just railed at me over a delivery rebate from Lowes. Seriously.. I shouldn't have to deal with that, I'm only getting payed minimum wage and that's not enough to have to deal with crazy people. And it's not like I'm the US Postal service and can make mail just instantly ship out to people. One lady even wanted me to go into the huge warehouse that's as big as a football field, get her check for her and mail it out myself so it'll take less time.. that would take me a month just to find it!

Most people though if they scream and swear at me I just hang up..

Therefore, do not work at call centres.. they drives you INSANE.

 

Oh man, I'd be way too tempted to start screwing with their heads.

 

Neph, I wish I were as good at dealing with angry customers as you. You OWN.

Simply... lol

Unfortunately, all of my work stories aren't funny, they're just unfortunate, or scary, or tiring. :sad: Or inside jokes that don't make sense or aren't funny when re-told.

Maybe one day I'll get a job that has a high humour yield, but I'm still stuck in that boring old deli.

Also avoid delis in POC Safeways. They're exhausting and boring, although the pay is a little better.

 

You're 15... 16 tops was it, and you work at Hooters?! ... No fair. since when were 16 -year-olds able to work there.... i'm applying! XD

Hmm... some work horror stories i've had...

Old guy asking me out infront of everyone at the place i work at (Which is Cafe Mozart's in Kitchener Ont. A dessert place. I is the dessert waitress ^_^ ).. He was Naaaasty looking.

hmm... another old guy telling me that i wanted him to die because i told him he needed to drop off a resume to get a job... he then layed right in the middle of Queen street trying to direct cars to run over him...

My friend (punk, mohawk and all) coming over at night when it was busy while drunk and demanding lemons from me >_< he said he wanted to watch Casper... and needed one. then sold weed to his friend inside the cafe!! Gahhh!

 

i'm not 15....kippy cramer 17!!! a friend hooked me up with the job plus i have a nice set, lol j/k.

 

Oh, sorry. I recall reading somewhere that you said you were 16. Anyhoo, *looks for her resume to drop off* Ha, i wish... not really. We got no Hooters where i live at. Grr. Not that it matters... i'm not like gay or anything >.> <.< XD

 

The skeptic in me is insisting I pursue the idea that Hooters would hire a seventeen year old, but then again, who am I to judge?

Anyway, let's try to steer this back on topic guys *is not exactly one to talk* ^_^

 

hmmm...i am getting suspisous. are you sure your not gay?lol. j/k.

okay, let's see. ....i am new at Hooters...it was a busy day....i got lots of orders wrong....i thought i'd be fired......that story sucked. lol.

 

I only just remembered this.

Awhile ago, fairly late at night, (~10 pm, after most of the customers are gone) this guy comes in, walks past the deli, and goes to the vac-pac wall. He scans the thing for... I swear, it must have been 10 minutes at least. Then he comes over, leans his arms on the deli counter, and asks "Is that all you have for sliced meat?" While gesturing to the vac-pac wall.

So I say, "Well, it is, if you don't count the case you're leaning on."

So he looks down, and goes "Oh" and laughs a bit to himself, before making his order as normal and leaving.

It would have been funnier if he hadn't been able to laugh at himself. I imagine he'd have left in a hurry, cheeks bright red.

Sadly, this is about the funniest encounter I've had in my year at Safeway. The only one that tops it was the "I'll just grab your buns" incident I mentioned earlier.

Safeway just doesn't get the kind of humour you (apparently) see at an EB Games. Might have to apply...

 

At the moment in work i'm working on a new 3 story apartment block in Kildare. My job was to go over it and make sure that the building had all the minimum measurments that the building regualtions stated. However we did not have the minimum apartment sizes for Kildare, only Dublin. So i naturally ring up the people who should have them, the Kildare County Council. After an hour and a half of ringing, getting cut off, and ringing again somebody finally picks up. I ask for them to fax me over the regualtions for room sizes and area's in new apartments. After being put on hold for 10 minutes, they finally tranfer me to the Development Department, were they tell me that they'll fax me over what i need straight away.
THREE HOURS LATER i finally get a fax saying "we do not posses the information you are looking for, please contact the Department of Enviroment and Development"........ :anger2:
SO, i ring the Dept of Enviroment and Development, and they quickly tell me that they don't have the information that i'm looking for, and that i should contact Kildare County Council for the information. :anger2: :anger2: :anger2:
After banging my head on the desk a few times i call Kildare again, only to have them tell me that they don't have the information and that i should contact the Department of Enviroment and Development.
Its a wonder how anything ever gets built in this country.

 

well lets say.
years ago I worked with some friends in a museum, wacthing the room of the museum (It was the museum of the house of the son of colon) anyway one day one of my friends were running from another (there were playing...I still dont know what) and the first didnt saw something and fall down to the floor, the thing is that the second one didnt saw him and fall down too and more funny is that another of my friends that were looking for those 2 didnt saw them and fall down, pretty funny but I that was near by and saw everything just began to laught but when I saw our boss, asking why we were making all that noise I just try to run away and fall down too XD.

 

I used to work at a truck stop. Truckers can be just as bad as the stories. Anyway I wasn't a waitress. I worked with the fuel. This trucker came in and over heard this conversation I had with a co worker. I have no clue what we were talking about at the time but I ended up saying I was single. This trucker heard big mistake. I am rather attractive so he got it in his head I would go out with him. He asked me when we were busy. He was waiting for a shower. (This truck stop did have showers.) He is probably in his 40's and has a child. Anyway I have always tried to be nice to customers but my boss told me the other day if they draw the line then I shouldn't have to be nice. He asked me out. And I said don't you have a wife and child? He said yes a child but she left him. (His wife was a mail ordered wife so that is pretty said when something you paid for leaves.) He was like how about it. I said no in a nice way. He kept on bugging me. Another trucker which I was helping tried to help. It didn't work. I looked at the guy and said "I was trying to be nice when I said no. But now I won't be. There is no way in hell I would ever go out with you." The guy left rather quickly and grabbed his towels for his shower. My co-worker burst out laughing and so did a few customers. Sad thing is that he is part of a major company that fueled there. But more then half of his co-workers are nice and I didn't get into trouble. The company could have stopped fueling there and that would have been major dollars.

I do have more stories but that one had to be the best by far.

 

I had someone do almost the same thing today.

This lady came in, and asked me "It's a 4 inch sandwich in the soup combo, right?"
My response: "It's a 3-inch sandwich, actually"
"What?"
"It's a 3 inch sandwich and small soup"
At this she just goes "oooh" in anger and stalks off.

Now, I can understand being upset about losing out on an inch in other situations, but a sandwich? Who really cares that much about 1 inch of bread?

 

Okay.

I was doing late night working at the shop the other night. Late night working is when I let my friends come in and tan. " Free " just my mother doesn't know that I give them free tans. Haha, I know I have good working skills. Okay, Dezy was comming into tan.. Then she shows up with Nolan. Matt was already with me I was like.. okay well one more person isn't bad. Then Megan shows up to tan also with Steven. So now the shop was climaxed to a total of 6 people. While one at a time is tanning. The shop has glass windows all through the front of the shop and the cops drove by about a million times. I was waiting for them to show up and question what was going on in the shop. Bah, and my house is only 3 or 4 blocks away from the shop so I was waiting for the po'po or parents. Later Angel showed up so I had seven people in the shop when I was only planning on three.
The night turnt out okay though. Noone found out about the excess amount of people in the shop.

Other than that, nothing really exciting ever happends.

 

This one is a gross one, but funny none the less.

The first time I went out to sea we were out about a week before pulling into San Diego. The whole time I did fine and had no instances of Sea Sickness.

Cool.

The first night back we all went out to In and Out just because we had a hankering for real So Cal food. I bought a few burgers and a fry and promptly proceeded to wolf them down in fashion. I got back to the ship with no problems and fell asleep in my rack (aka pit).

The next morning I woke up with a peculiar feeling in my tummy. Shrugging it off I began my work day puttering around some offices and helping clean. We were about to do a large, shipwide inspection and the CO wanted us to make the vessel shine. Well, right about lunch time I realized I needed to use the bathroom

...Really, really bad (you can see where this is going here...)

After about 30 minutes I realized I was passing nothing but chocolate syrup. I was sick and I had no idea where I'd gotten it from. So, wiping (and hoping for the best) I left the head (bathroom) and went down to the plants to clean. About an hour later my stomach began to give me problems. I ducked out and went back to the head where I proceeded to shoot liquid fire (and I do mean liquid) straight into the bowl.

Confused and pissed off I stumble out of the head and hit my pit where I promptly passed out. A while later someone woke me up, intending to get me up so that we could go ashore.

Yeah, it wasn't happening. I shoo him away, roll over and try to forget the burning sensation gripping my behind and the knot that has formed in my stomach.

Suddenly I feel something lurch. Jerking myself upright I feel lunch coming back up. Looking around I begin to panic- there had to be someplace I could drop off this mess without-

Too late.

At that instant my head was facing toward the racks beside us, three pits tall. there was about 2-3 feet of space in between us. Well, in my moment of glory, I cleared the space inbetween the pits soaking the top rack beside me. As I lost energy the mess began to dribble down onto the middle and bottom pits. The bottom one was open and the guy's clothes and belongings exposed to the world... and my yak.

But was I done there?! Hell no!!

Realizing I wasn't done yet I point my head into my lap hoping to keep it on MY pit- Less mess to clean up. That didn't work either. It over flowed dribbled onto the middle pit below me and the one at the very bottom, which was wide open as well.

I spent almost 6 hours cleaning up that mess. Somehow I managed to power puke on all 6 of the pits in my row. Turns out I had gotten the infamous "Fecal to Oral" which is about as much fun as closing a vice on your toes. I could only surmise that I had gotten it from In and Out.

The moral of the story? Eat at In and Out, just if you do get sick- pour it down your shirt. It's safer there.

Ewwie spewie magooie!

~W

 

Here is a stupid encounter of a blonde.

I work at a place that makes airplane parts. Yes we make the parts that get assembled into an airplane. Our work building is expending. They are building onto the existing building.

While the construction workers roped of a part to make a sidewalk. My coworker (who is dumber then a box of rocks.) walked up and asked what they were doing there. (It was attached to the side walk.)

Direct quote here. "We are making a tiny runway for minature airplanes."

I could have died laughing.

 

Does school count? It's my job to go to school you know. Anyway, here's a crazy one from my "Catholic" school. Keep in mind I'm in 8th grade.

Well, as we're working in the room, my friend Brendan leans over to Manuel, the new guy, and goes, "Manuel, you and me, tomorrow, on the stairs." I sorta chuckeled because these challenges were most of the time no more than idle threats.

Well, that next day as we're all walking up the stairs to get to our next class, I see my friend Matt and my friend Tom go at it. Their books are being thrown everywhere and being stepped on while they beat the **** out of each other. Then I hear another crash...

...and it's Brendan and Manuel on the stairs! They're fist-fighting on the freakin' stairs! The threat was actually real this time! Okay, while this is all going on, the teahcers are still in the classroom's finishing up their lessons for the previous classes.

So here's the situation: Matt and Tom are still beating each other up outside of Mrs. Siroky's (my teacher) room. Manuel and Brendan are still fist-fighting on the stairs, almost falling down a few times, and these are big stairs. Well, finally a teacher comes out.

"What, the ***, is going on out here?!" is all I hear behind me. It was Mrs. Siroky, totally PO'd. Everyone falls silent, and everyone's still tangeled up. Well, we presume into the classroom and everyone got a talking to. I'm surprised they didn't get detentions.

Man school's fun.